Maud Newton on Popsicles

Jakob Wywialowski and the Angels by Audrey Niffenegger

In Maud's Remainders (admittedly my favorite part of Maud's blog, for reasons I can't rightly explain to myself, nor to you), she asks the eternally rhetorical amazonian question:
Everybody else has already mentioned all the press coverage of Amazon’s new plan to sell short stories from authors like Danielle Steele and Tama Janowitz for $.49 each. I wonder: if Amazon decided to sell shit on a popsicle stick through its website, would we all feel compelled to mention it?
Before I say anything, I would like to point out that I get that the comment was meant to be glib, and I'll take it that way. Easy. No problem. But there's more. You knew there would be more, didn't you?
  1. Danielle Steele? Tama Janawitz? Really? How did I miss those when I was making my purchases? I must not have been paying close enough attention.
  2. Despite the fact that the stories may not represent the broadest spectrum of literary achievement, I think I will withhold judgment until they neglect to ask me to contribute for a little longer.
  3. Is the attention being shone so brightly on short stories not at least a reason to be moderately hopeful that two or three human beings who are not now readers of short material will become readers of short material and will therefore buy approximately one and a half books full of shorter material in their lifetime, which they may not have otherwise purchased? Is there no hope in that? Is there? Really? No hope? I'm asking. Could somebody answer please?
  4. Ann Beattie.
  5. Though I have no doubt that very few writers will benefit directly from Amazon.com selling short stories, maybe a few will benefit indirectly. That is, since there's no digital rights management on the stories, maybe a few will benefit by being able to read stories without paying for them. That's what I meant. Of course. And it will not be me who shares those stories. So don't ask.
  6. It seems to me that what Amazon.com has done is build a model for somebody to imitate. (Or rather, they've applied someone else's model out of its ordinary context.) Perhaps we could have a little more imitation of this model. A few more players in the mix. That would be awesome. (Honestly, if Powell's had beat Amazon.com to the one-off story punch, I'm pretty sure the shouting would be, if not as loud, at least as enthusiastic... at least I hope it would be.)
  7. I was about to add that if Amazon.com did indeed decide to sell “shit on a popsicle stick,” it would undoubtedly be news. I don't believe anybody has ever successfully sold shit on a popsicle stick, and it would be an incredible boon to all shitters if they could, indeed, sell it, even if it was not the best shit, nor the best popsicle stick. Meanwhile, there is always The Best American Shit Stories to keep us somewhat satisfied until they do indeed sell it on a popsicle stick. And God bless them.
That is all. Blessings. ♻ Maud iTunish: Pretty in Pink
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